Yesterday I was looking thru my mounds of paperwork looking for some documents that I need to register my daughter for school. While I was looking, I found some pictures that were taken of me during a work babyshower for my daughter (in 2004). I was wearing my hairstyle of choice…the bun.
Did I ever tell you all that for months all I would ever do to my hair was curl it up in a bun? I wish I was joking. One year, maybe it was 2005 or 2006, I decided I needed to get out of this habit and I even put it on my New Year’s Resolutions for that year. Yes, you read that right. I believe the item said, “Cannot wear a bun or ‘no makeup’ more than two times per week to work and never on the same day.” Meaning, if I was going to wear a bun, I had to put on makeup…because otherwise, I would go with absolutely no makeup and my hair tied up every.single.day.
I wore it up so much that my hair started to fall out. REALLY.
I don’t know why I did this. I was lazy? I think it was because I stopped caring about myself. And ironically, I was proud that I was this low maintenance. I was proud that I wasn’t “that girl” that took hours to get ready.
Sometime last year, I made a real commitment to myself. I told myself that I did not deserve to come in last. I deserve to treat myself like I would treat my best friend. I started to care more about how I look, not because I’m vain but because I don’t want to disappear in the crowd anymore. I want to be healthy, strong, take up space.
I found whoorl and her Hair Thursday’s really changed my view of things. You know how you go to someone’s weight loss blog and you find all the other people trying to lose weight? Well, if you go to a fashion blog or food blog you find the same thing. I started seeking out “fashion” blogs (makeup, hair, how to dress, etc). Not because I necessarily love it myself, but because it is so interesting to me to read about other people’s passions and it was something I wanted to learn. On her Hair Thursday website, people ask for what hair style would look best on them and then she picks 2 and all kind of people vote for their favorites. I kept seeing her recommendations and before you knew it, this website became a must read for me. (specifically this article because I saw my hair like this girls…here’s her before and after.)
Pretty soon I had the guts to cut some side bangs. Then I learned how to style such side bangs (thru one of her tutorials). Then I learned I don’t have to always straighten my whole hair, just the front, then I learned what styles work, which don’t…and right now, I think my hair is the best it has EVER been. I’m not saying its better than anyone elses, I’m saying its the best I’ve ever had it. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with it.
I’m not totally reformed. I still love my low-maintenance style. But as I put away the picture of the baby shower and took one last look at me smiling at the camera, I realize I have really really changed. And it is a good thing.