Turning 40…bucket checklist

17 08 2015

I turned 40 over the weekend.  Gulp.  Sometimes thinking about it is not a big deal.  Sometimes thinking about it is HOLY CRAP a big deal!

I thought it would be a good time to check up on my 2015 bucket list to see how I’m doing compared to what I wanted to do…

Here’s the full list.  I set it up like a checklist in Evernote so I could track progress.  I am so proud that we’ve been dancing monthly!  There are some that I know will not happen this year because we won’t be able to afford it — like Smokey Mountains,  the Acura and to see snow again.  But the others are still totally doable.  This makes me so excited.  :)

Dancing monthly
Jan – Michelle House, Jennifer Party
Feb – La Mafia and Richard Party
Mar – Rob Base
Apr – Not sure if we did.
May – Shannon Green and Stevie B
Jun – Can’t remember where!
Jul – Dominican Trip, Mickey Gilley
Aug – My Birthday
Learn to play tennis
Moody gardens
Dominican Republic
Smokey mountains (gaitlinburg, biltmore)
Acura T&L
Save 500 month
Guadalupe peak
Wedding ring
Chain
Learn aerials/flares
Invest in land acres
Camp out more
Spend night at beach
3x weekly
Sheetrock garage
Shed in back
Small weekend trip once a qtr at least
Help A with classroom
Splashtown season passes
Start a mother daughter book club and read 10 books
Go horse riding
Try to win a soccer game w O and B
See snow again
Disney on ice
Cirque de soliel
Board games once a week
Go to a texans game
Go to rockets game
Go to monster trucks (went to Marvel Universe instead)
F dance class
Passports




Pride

1 08 2015

Hi!  (waving hand enthusiastically).

Guys, I cannot tell you how proud I am of myself.  I want to be sad because of the 216.4 situation…but, I’m so proud of all the progress I’ve made in the past 2 years.  I was seriously depressed for 2 years.  Two whole years.  I cannot even explain to you how horrible it feels – how I was living every experience in a haze, not really experiencing anything.

I worked so hard and I pulled through.  I pulled through.  I want to cry, seriously, because I never thought I would.  I never thought I would.  I feel like a fighter, like a survivor, like a champion.  Maybe I’m fluffy right now, But I am a champion anyway.  :)

So here’s what I’m going to attempt to do:

  • No liquid calories
  • Do something active every day
  • Half portions.  Wait 15 minutes, drink a glass of water before that 2nd helping if its needed.  Set a timer.
  • Be nice to myself
  • Eat real food.

That’s it.  Its a great start.

One of the items on this year’s bucket list is to go dancing once a month with my husband.  And we’re doing that tonight.  Its Urban Cowboy’s 35th anniversary and Mickey Gilley is performing.  Cool right?  We’re going to act like crazies and go.  My husband is so fun…when he’s not driving me crazy.

I’ll leave you with a funny pic.  I’ve been up to so much – I need to catch you all up.  But don’t have time now. So I’ll leave this picture here and then come back on another day to tell you all about my trip to the Dominican Republic to celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday!

Dominican Dancer





That Emoji with the Big Eyes

30 07 2015

I weighed myself this morning.  216.4.  This is officially the heaviest I have ever been.  And, at 5’2″, it doesn’t look too pretty.

I immediately (pattern / habit) started playing scenarios in my mind….I’ll cut the carbs! I’ll exercise daily until……blah, blah, blah.  But instead, I am forcing myself to stop and do a handful of things that will help me.

  • I used to log all my food.  Go back and find those logs.  Duplicate the meals I used to eat when I was losing weight.
  • Weigh every week.  Thursdays can be the day, but it needs to be weekly.
  • Avoid liquid calories.
  • No mean thoughts.

I just recently got off all depression medication (been about 1 month now) and for the first time in about 2 years…I feel really, really good.  I can’t even explain how much depression pulls from you.  I want to cry (from corny joy!) every time I think about how good I feel.  I never thought I would be happy.  I am so proud of myself for all the work I’ve done.  It was so hard climbing out.  And I cannot, will not now start obsessing about something else.

I will work this.  I will still love myself.  I will stop the mean girl thoughts.  Because no matter what I weigh, I have to be happy.

I just have some work to do…and that’s ok.  :)





Realization

4 03 2015

A couple of months ago, I guess it was December, an idea popped in my head to form a Mother-Daughter book club.  My daughter is 10 and in the 5th grade and doesn’t necessarily like to read.  Not only that, but she struggles with reading comprehension.  I had read that one of bloggers had a bookclub (probably Carla), so I decided to give it a try.

I don’t really know why…but I approached this just like I would a work project – I took it very seriously.  I bought a book on forming mother daughter book clubs.  I even emailed back and forth with the author.  I researched books that were on readers lists.  I contacted one mother who homeschooled her daughter and asked her if she’d be interested.  I figured she would (mostly for social interaction for her daughter) and then she picked another mother and I picked another mother.  And pretty soon, we had 4 guardians (one is an auntie) and 6 girls in the book club.

I led the meetings and struggled with getting interaction so we brainstormed ideas that might tie into the book and we decided to bring scraps of fabric in and let them sew them together and eventually they would have a pillow.  Little by little, we started getting more interaction and just last week I gave the final reading assignment for the first book.

The girls finished their first book.  And my daughter finished her pillow and she loves it.

On Sunday I lay in bed and told my husband how proud of myself I was.  I mean, I started with an idea and made a plan and then made it happen…there’s nothing huge here.  To be honest, its exactly what I do at work.  I get ideas, then I start taking steps to implement.  But for a long time, in my home life, I would get ideas…think about them forever and never really implement any of them.  I don’t know what happened this year that turned this switch for me, but something has changed….maybe its been changing?  Maybe its because I’m older?  Here are a couple of other examples…

  • I got an idea to take a trip with my friends for my 40th birthday.  I sold the idea…researched places….and 16 of us are going to the Dominican Republic in February!
  • This is tiny…but I got an idea to organize my cosmetics.  I researched Pinterest (duh) and decided to use an over the door shoe thing.  I found one, ordered it and cleaned out two drawers yesterday!
  • My husband said to me, you need to start wearing more lipstick.  I love it when you wear lipstick.  So I’ve bought a new one every paycheck.  :)
  • We made a bucket list for this year (as a family) and we are checking things off….like going dancing monthly (check!) or taking kids to see Cirque de Soliel (check on Sunday!) or starting a book club  :)
  • I sold everyone at work on starting a sticker board with a happy face sticker every time we exercise…so we could have a visual representation of our activity.  We’ve been tracking exercise like this since Feb 1.

When I realized this, I felt so…so…proud?  Even in my weightloss/lack of weightloss…I’m proud of myself for continuing to focus on not the result, but the process.  I’ve been logging my food (for 35 days straight!) and have been putting stickers on my exercise board for about as long.  And if the weight hasn’t come off…well, its on its way.  Either way, I’m doing the things I need to do.

Lord knows I have a tendency to beat myself up about so many things.  But this one thing…this one thing I am celebrating.  Go me.  :)  (Confetti sprinkles.  haha)





30 Days! and The Bag

24 02 2015

About 30 days ago, I started on a mission to change some habits.  I decided, rather than continuing to focus on the end result (losing x amount of weight), that instead, I’d focus on the routine it takes to get there and reward myself for keeping up with the routine.

I found this leather bag/tote in Etsy and I really wanted to buy it.

Etsy Bag

But, I decided I would get it AFTER I logged my food in MyFitnessPal for 30 days.  30 days!  And guess how many days I have logged????

I’m about to order my bag and I feel very proud to have accomplished this.  :)

 

 

 

 





Guilt

9 02 2015

I have a dilemma.  Ok, I really, really, really don’t like to run.  Really.  And I don’t know if its because I don’t run that I don’t like to run, but I just don’t care for it.  I have run a 5k before (and a couple of mudruns)…and I felt great doing them, but mostly for the accomplishment piece of it.  When I ran the 5k, I was so proud to be able to run and not stop.  It felt amazing.

I was going to consider signing up for a half marathon in April.  Why?  Well, just to mark “did a half marathon” off my list.  However, the more and more I think about it the more I’m wondering if I should waste my time doing something I really do not enjoy.  I mean, in the end, I want to live an active life and exercise.  I love to dance, I love to kickbox, I love Piyo and Yoga and Bootcamp style workouts.  I love the kettlebell.  I love Zumba.  I love many other forms of cardio, but I just don’t enjoy running.

So my dilemma is…should I sign up for the half marathon anyway?  Am I just chickening out because I don’t currently run and don’t feel like putting the work in?  OR, should I listen to my body and just do the cardio I do like?  I keep thinking, life’s too short to do stuff you don’t like to do.  Especially when there are so many cardio options.  Right?  Or am I just using that as an excuse?!?

I keep swirling this over and over again in my brain and its exhausting me.  And I keep thinking all these random things that dont’ even matter…like, “how will you ever do a tough mudder if you don’t run?!?”  Ok, but I don’t really care if I do a tough mudder.  I’d rather do a zumbathon.  haha.  “what if you never do a half-marathon…ever?”  Is this really a big deal?

Sigh.  I wish I could just make my choice and BE OK with it rather than torture myself with all this second guessing.

 

 





Stickers and Boards

5 02 2015

 

 

 

Remember I said I was going to create a board where I could put every day that I work out so that I can begin to “reward the routine, not the goal”?  Well, I went to work and sold my idea to a couple of my upstairs co-workers.  I went to a teacher store and bought a behavior chart for kids, turned it on its side and am using it to put a :) every day that we work out.  Its a good visual reminder to work out.

And, I don’t know if its the stickers or the public way that it is set up, but it was cold and rainy one day and one of the ladies said, “ordinarily I would just go home, but I want to get a sticker on the board!”

Here’s how it works.  To get a sticker, you have to work out at least 30 minutes of anything.  And, it can even be broken up (10 minutes now, 20 minutes then, etc).  But, it needs to feel like a real work out.  You get green or yellow happy faces for each work out.  After the 9th one, you get a gold star.  If you work out at least 20 days in the month, then you get another sticker that says “Good Job!” in the Final column.  Lol, it cracks me up that this is really motivating.  I think it challenges our inner kindergartener.

One of the other managers came upstairs on Tuesday (the 2nd) and was complaining about how he felt “ugh” because he hadn’t worked out, etc.  So we challenged him to join our board.  He got the red squiggly line.  I talked to him yesterday and he ran!

We were doing this for nothing at first, for just our awareness of physical activity and some accountability.  But, now, we are all pitching in $10 a month.  At the end of the cardboard (May), the person with the most workouts is getting the pot of $.  Right now it stands at $240.

All these little things, this is what keeps work fun.  This is training to remember that the result shouldn’t be the goal…the goal should be the routine and if you stick with that, the result will follow.

 

2015/02/img_3163.jpg








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